Thinking About Maya
by Titanium Wolf
Summary: Takes place the same night of 3x01, Emily is having trouble sleeping when the one person she didn't expect shows up. Maya St. Germain is back for a little while and while Emily is distraught by what could be real or an illusion, she gets to exchange words with the first love of her life who pushes her to move on. Contains a little Emaya, nothing too much.


**I'm back Pll-ers and yes its another sad one shot. Well sort of, depends on how you look at it. This time however, we receive a visit from Maya, who's supposed to be dead, right? Hmmm, anyway, this takes place the night before the girls receive the phone call from Mrs. Hastings in the first episode of season 3...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PLL, if I did, well, things would have happened.**

**Enjoy!**

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Emily couldn't sleep. The couch wasn't very comfortable and she had been drifting in and out of sleep. How could this have happened? A, or Mona was in Radley, it was impossible for her to do anything like this. Emily sighed, couldn't her life be normal for once?

She had been outed by force, she had found her first girlfriend and that girlfriend was shipped off for three months because of her mother. She and her best friends had dug themselves a hole that kept getting deeper as they tried to figure out who A was and tried to stop them. And finally, when she was comfortable in her own skin, with her mom's approval, Maya back in her life, and Mona finally caught, things began to look up.

But then, then came the worst night of her life. She came home, tired and exhausted to find out that her girlfriend, her first love, was dead or so they thought. At this point, Emily had no idea of what to think. She wanted to cling on to the hope that Maya was somehow alive but even now, trying to convince herself was ridiculous.

That thought made her close her eyes, trying to drift off muttering to herself, "Why Maya, why?"

"Depends on what you're asking Em," A voice said. Emily snapped up, trying to focus her eyes in the darkness. Within moments, she saw a familiar figure, leaning casually against the wall, arms crossed.

"Maya?" Emily asked stunned.

She made out the figure nod her head and gestured for Emily to come forward. Emily carefully got up, making sure she didn't wake any of her friends and followed Maya out the door.. They sat on the porch and when Maya's face turned towards her, Emily saw those never ending pools of brown she had fallen for. Emily's hand made their way from her lap and she felt Maya's cheek, retracting her hand immediately when she felt the ice cold skin.

"Emily," The soft voice said. "I don't have much time but I've been granted permission to come anyway."

"Are you dead?" Emily blurted out. She kept her eyes on Maya, Maya didn't shy away and looked back at Emily.

"Hmm," Maya hummed, giving a little chuckle. "That's the question isn't it? Am I dead? What do you think?"

Her question wasn't accusatory or sarcastic, it was phrased as if Maya was asking for Emily's opinion.

"I don't know," Emily whispered helplessly. She wanted to cry and cheer at the same time.

Maya gave a small smile, "Its okay Emily, its okay to not know right now." She put her hand over Emily's and Emily couldn't help but let a small whimper come out. She missed Maya so much.

"Oh baby," Maya said giving a sad smile. "I know its hard, I miss you so much, but we can't dwell on that right now."

"Did I do it Maya?" Emily asked in a small voice. "Did I dig up Alison's grave?"

The caramel skinned girl gave a pained look and didn't look at Emily right away. "Honestly Em," She started slowly. "Drunk or not, I don't think you're capable of doing something like that."

The swimmer wasn't sure of what to think. She was glad another person didn't believe she was capable of doing it but did anyone really know?

Emily watched Maya thinking of something to say before she stopped and looked at Emily. She put an arm around the swimmer and pulled her into an embrace. Emily had to hold the tears in as she embraced Maya back. If this was a figment of her imagination, then it was a good figment, because now she could smell the familiar scent she always associated with Maya.

"Maya," Emily whispered. "I don't know if I can go on without you."

Maya leaned back out of the embrace and gave the swimmer a stern look. "Listen here Emily Fields," She started seriously. "You can and you will. Em, life is life, you'll can't spend the whole time dwelling on sadness, you have to let go. No more drinking, no blacking out, Em you have to take control back. Stand up tall, proud and take whoever's ruining your life down. You can do it Emily, I believe in you."

She leaned in and passionately kissed Emily speechless. Before Emily could respond, Maya leaned back and got up.

"I have to go Em," Maya said sadly. "I love you Emily, I always will. I'm sorry that the circumstances are different but its for the best." She blew Emily one last kiss and headed toward the clearing and moved toward the thick trees until Emily couldn't see her silhouette any more. She was gone.

Emily took a deep, shuddering breath, trying to calm herself down. She found herself getting up from her spot and made her way back to the couch. She immediately feel asleep and she woke refreshed several hours later, the encounter fresh in mind.

Was it real? Or was it fake? It reminded the swimmer of the experience she had with Allison after almost suffocating in the barn.

"Ugh!" Emily groaned, noticing her head was pounding. "Too much thinking." She got up and made her way to the bathroom spending another moment analyzing the whole encounter with Maya.

Maya was right, Emily prayed that she wasn't dead but she knew that she had to learn to let go. Would she forget Maya? No, she would never forget the girl who set her free, who let her be who she was. She would never forget the girl who let her experience what love was, she would never forget her first love.

She had to stay strong for her friends. She was no longer the weakest link or a fine piece of china. She was Emily Fields and there were answers they needed.

Emily grabbed an Advil and went back to the couch where Spencer was starting to stir. She sat down back in her spot and popped the pill in her mouth. Spencer shot a small smile and Emily felt herself returning one to her friend. While she waited for Aria and Hanna to wake up, she spent the rest of morning thinking about Maya.

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**So, there's my hand at trying an Allison appears-esque type one shot except with Maya. This might be my last Emaya one shot. I don't know about you guys but I'm tired of being confused if she's alive or not. Is MK bring her back? Is she dead or not? I don't know what to believe anymore. Anyways, I'm not trying to sway anyone, you guys have your own opinion so believe what you want and you'll probably be right.**


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